I swear to you, this is exactly how it happened…

As I got in the checkout line at Walgreens, there in front of me were two real-life cowboys.  (And, believe me, I’ve lived here long enough to be able to tell real from play-acting…)

The first one was 40-ish and mildly attractive, but the young one was mid-20’s, 6’4”, blue-eyed, white-shirted, form-fitting jeans-wearing, brown broken-in-Stetson-sporting, just stepped out of a Western movie-looking hunk o’ pretty.

I said, “There’s nothing I like more than seeing a couple of good-looking cowboys in my neighborhood.”

The young one smiled and began to blush (Did I mention adorable?).  I said, “Now you go home and write on your facebook that an old, fat woman in Walgreens said you’re good-looking.”

He honest-to-goodness tipped his hat, gave me a little wink and said, “I don’t do facebook, ma’am.  I do face-to-face.”

Then he turned on his bootheel and followed his companion out of the store, leaving me standing there with a stupid grin plastered all over my face.

So, what did I do?  Came home and posted this on MY facebook and wrote a blog about it! 

Yippie Ki-Ay, Baby!

"Let me 'splain. No, ees too much. Let me sum up." Inigo, from 'The Princess Bride'

Normal Potassium Levels for 'Normal' People

I love the above quote.  And I will try to 'sum up'.  But some explanation is needed, so I will try to be brief and, um, tactful...

Things had been strange around here.  It started with exhaustion, nausea and diarrhea (sorry to be so blunt, but it's an important point) a few months ago.  My doctor diagnosed me with gastroparesis - paralysis of the vagas nerve in my stomach from diabetes (I had been gambling with my health!  Get it?  Vagas nerve, gambli...never mind.).  I argued with her - really, I did - and on subsequent visits I asked her if she was positive that was the reason for the nausea and, well, you know.  She always said yes with a slightly condescending look as if to say 'Who's the doctor here?'.

On March 23, 2011, I was tending Noah, and suddenly vomited.  (Again, sorry to be so graphic.)  I had a doctor appointment for the next day just as a follow-up for some bloodwork from a few weeks earlier and instead of cancelling it (as I often do...) I kept it.  I thought I had a bad case of stomach flu and wanted her to fix it.

At the doctor's office on Thursday, March, 24, they repeated some bloodwork because I complained to the doctor's resident-in-training that I was still nauseated and had, well, again, you know...  She ordered more bloodwork than what I had been scheduled for earlier.  As I sat waiting for the phlebotomist I got weaker and weaker and by the time my name was called, I literally had to be helped from the chairs to her lab. (I had been weak like this at home, too, but each time it happened I just fell back onto the sofa and tried again.)  She told me after she had drawn my blood (that sounds completely different than what she really did...), that they would have the results Monday or Tuesday.

Friday morning, watching Good Morning America, my phone rings with a frantic call from my doc's office.  My friend, Kathleen the Nurse, told me my potassium levels were critical - more than double the normal level - and they wanted me to have my blood re-drawn as quickly as possible.  To make a long story short (yeah, too late, I know...) I was rushed to the hospital and admitted immediately.  Apparently I didn't have the flu...

All of the symptoms I had been exhibiting for over 2 months, were because my potassium levels were fluctuating and finally became critical and I was in complete renal failure (meaning my kidneys had quit working for those of you who aren't 'hospital-lingo-savvy').

Within an hour of being admitted, I was in Interventional Radiology having a stent put into my jugular vein (THAT was fun...) so they could put me on dialysis to remove the potassium and other not-so-healthy stuff from my blood.

Miraculously (and no, that isn't a euphemism), it took only two sessions of dialysis for the potassium levels to return to normal.  According to the nephrologist (kidney doctor), this is an unheard of short time.  They thought I would have to be on dialysis for several weeks.  My original potassium level was 8.4 and the nurses told me they had seen patients die from levels at 7.9.  THAT made me think!

Now, let's re-cap the miracle 'sum up', shall we?  Because I thought I had the flu, I kept my scheduled doctor appointment (and trust me, I cancel more than I go...).  Because I saw my doctor's resident instead of my doctor, extra bloodwork was ordered that showed the critical potassium levels and no, it would NOT have shown up in the originally ordered bloodwork.  Because I had been so sick on Wednesday (and continued to be so), Scarlett got someone else to tend Noah for Friday, leaving me free to be rushed to the hospital.  Because my two oldest sons, Lucas and Stephen (Jared didn't know at the time), both posted my condition on Facebook almost immediately, prayers were being sent up on my behalf before I even had my first session of dialysis. (Thank you all.)  Because I still have something to complete here on this side of the veil, I was made well in the shortest time the doctors had ever seen. I count a miracle-minimum of five.

So, if any of you have any idea of why I am still here and what I need to complete before being allowed to go see my mom and dad on a permanent basis, I'd appreciate the input.  I have a couple of ideas, but they seem kind of lame, compared to the miracles that kept me here.  By the way, the nausea and, um, other stuff, are gone and my vagas nerve seems to be fully functional.  And, yes, I tactfully kept my comments to myself and didn't lambaste my doctor about this.  (This is called a 'humble brag'. Hehehe...)

I added this picture of Inigo just 'cause he's so good lookin'.  And he sings great, too, in real life...

Fezzick (Andre the Giant) Inigo (Mandy Patinkin) and Vizzini (Wallace Shawn)

Foodie Gifts for Christmas ( OR All I Want for Christmas is Food!)

When looking for homemade food gifts to give for the holidays, I found a terrific website by two sweet young women, Kate and Sara.  The site is called Our Best Bites: Tips, Tricks and Tastes from Two Real-Life Kitchens.  Click on the title above to be taken to their recipe index or the box in the right-hand column to be taken to their home page.  You won't regret it.

They have some wonderful gift ideas - some new, some tried-and-true - but what caught my eye were the unusual recipes they had posted, such as No Yeast Sweet Rolls with Cinnamon or Orange Filling.  This recipe uses cottage cheese and buttermilk - not something each of us necessarily keeps on hand all the time, but, worth the purchase for these delicious, tender breakfast rolls.  Plus, they bake in only 20-25 minutes and are best served warm and soft right after you drizzle on the Orange Glaze (or the powdered sugar glaze if you make the cinnamon type).  Of course, there won't be any leftover, anyway, so you needn't worry about storing them.   The girls found a glass pie plate was the best baking dish.  (It is hints like this that make this site unusually helpful...plus there are LOTS of photos showing the steps for each recipe.)

These might be a fun gift to deliver warm to your neighbors on Christmas morning if you can keep your family from gobbling them all up!

Generosity

"…We have two hands. One is for helping ourselves and the other is for helping others."
                                                                             - Audrey Hepburn, Actress and UNICEF Ambassador

Generosity is giving freely without expecting anything in return. As the quote above states, we have two hands and we should give as much as we get. Most of us don’t have a problem helping ourselves. We have learned to take care of ourselves and our responsibilities. Often, the difficult part is finding time to help others.

Putting change from a purchase at the store into the plastic bin for whatever charity or person is on the label, writing a check to a charity, putting a few dollars in the Salvation Army Christmas pot while Santa rings his bell – those are the easy things and make us feel better about ourselves. But what of generosity of spirit? This requires a little more effort.

Take a couple of hours this holiday season to truly give…

• Knit or crochet some warm scarves or hats and donate them to a local homeless shelter.  You just sit around in the evening watching television anyway, why not keep your hands busy?

• Bring your child or a friend to a soup kitchen to serve a meal or two. (Always involve your children when you can.)  Childre learn what they live.

• Find a family whose Christmas might be incomplete and give them an anonymous gift certificate for a full meal from a grocery store or for a toy store or a clothing store (but don’t disappoint a child with only clothes!). Taping an envelope to a door, knocking loudly and running is more fun than licking an envelope and sticking a check in the mail!

Take notice of how you feel afterwards. Your heart will be beating fast and the smile on your face will be difficult to erase.

This is true generosity and it requires two hands to accomplish but you will want to hold onto the feeling you get inside with both hands, too. Your spirit will be filled with joy and you will look forward to doing it again and again.

More Brutal Honesty

Three posts for the price of one!  Such a deal!  Each of these posts is quite personal, although not very funny, which you know I try to be as much as possible.  Just in a serious mood, I guess.  Thanks for reading!  


I am addicted to chocolate. It isn't a secret. I like chocolate alone or chocolate with peanut butter. No dipping fruit in it. No nuts. No wafers or caramel. No self-pity. No claims of victimization. No denial. No need for a 12-step program. It is an addiction I am fully willing to live with and indulge in for the rest of my life. Do I somehow believe the addition of peanut butter makes chocolate healthier? I'm sure it doesn't. Although I don't think it hurts, either. I am past trying to trick myself into believing it helps qualify it as health food, though.

I have read everything that has come my way about chocolate's addictive chemicals and the reactions they cause in the brain and the body. I have also read how it helps and that it has health benefits. Sugar and white flour are more damaging and don't have any health benefits, so I am avoiding those quite well, with the exception of the sugar contained in chocolate. Maybe that will compensate a little. And if it doesn't? Oh, well... Everything in moderation, right? That is the healthiest way to eat or indulge in anything. I no longer eat several candy bars in one sitting. I have adopted a moderate, middle-of-the-road attitude. If you have a similar addiction or just want to try something new, check out the recipe attached to the photo above. Trust me, you won't regret it.


I don't know what your opinion is of Michael Jackson, his music, his Neverland Ranch, the public accusations or the strange way he seemed to live his life. Even if you did not watch the tribute to him today, if you hear his beautiful young daughter's words, through her tears, it will break your heart. I pray that these children will be able to live a more normal life than their father was afforded at the same age. I pray that they had a relationship with him that the news reports and controversies cannot damage. I pray that his music will live on and that the difference it made in many hearts will continue.

Separate the media reports of his personal life from his music and you have an unforgettable legacy left to the world. If you can't find it in your heart to do this, listen again to the anguish and love in 11-year-old Paris Michael Katherine Jackson's voice and give a little credit to him for loving his children so much and hope that your children will be able to express that much love when you pass.





Until six weeks ago, I had gum disease. Yep. Time to make this confession, as embarassing as it feels. According to Prevention Magazine diabetes can cause this, and because of the gum disease, the diabetes worsens. It's a two-edged sword. About two weeks ago, I began experiencing extremely low blood sugar episodes each afternoon. Average blood glucose levels are 80-120. Mine was 43. It made me dizzy, sweaty, shaky and a little scared. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what was happening. It had been about a month since my dental surgery, but I didn't think to connect these two things. Then, providentially, I happened upon the Prevention Magazine article on gum disease and it's effects on glucose levels and I began to monitor my blood sugar more diligently.

A few months ago, I would awake with a glucose level of 250 and would have to take an insulin injection and oral medication before breakfast and at least twice more daily to lower it to a more normal number. Now, after dental surgery ended the gum disease, my glucose levels when I wake are 150. That is a HUGE difference. All the because I no longer have gum disease. Unbelievable! This needs to be broadcast to every diabetic everywhere! I couldn't be happier about this and, of course, my medical doctor is pleased, too. Now, as long as I stay off sugar and white flour (except the sugar in chocolate, of course...) and continue to lose weight, I may turn this diabetes around. Plus, I have a really pretty smile now! [Oh yeah, I have lost 73 pounds in the last year. Even that didn't change my blood glucose levels as much as the dental surgery! I have that much weight to still take off, but I'm on my way. WooHoo!]

*Click on the photos above to be taken to the links about them.

Looking for Mr. Leftover

I would like to marry again someday, but there are certain criteria that he must meet. This is the ad I am considering posting under the title:



Brutally Honest SWF

SWF, age 56, looking for a male companion with the possibility of marriage. Must be over 6 feet tall, with hair or not, like movies, steak, and chocolate. He should enjoy cooking and cleaning with a partner occasionally and be willing to eat out a couple of times a week. He must have used National Geographic for his erotica, not Playboy, and must be willing to accept a female body ravaged by time, three pregnancies, genetic disorders (i.e. diabetes, high blood pressure, thinning hair) and a tendency toward obesity. He must appreciate and have a sense of humor, be able to laugh at himself and have a kind heart. He must like grandchildren - his own and mine - and be willing to spend time with them every so often. Thank you for your consideration. Under age 55 need not apply.

What do you think? Will I get any takers? I am not willing to lower my standards, so please don't ask. If you know a single man like this, please give him my phone number.

Biology and Brains

I am now in my second 8-week session of online college courses at Grand Canyon University.

My first session classes were Communication Theory and Biology.

Yes, Biology.

You can stop laughing now, although I understand why this would be the first response most of you would have. Just wait 'til I have to take math.

When I was in 8th grade (in the middle part of the last century), Algebra was introduced into our school curriculum. After a few weeks of my struggling in the class, the teacher, Mr. Bradley, took me into the hall and said, "Some girls can't do math or science. Just do your best and I will give you a passing grade." I never had another problem in math or science (literally!), even in high school. Mr. Bradley must have spoken with the science teacher, Mr. Davis, because he let me off easy, too. Or, maybe a note was put into my permanent record!

Yes, I am one of the women who was judged by my gender to be unable to learn math and science. Sadly, I seem to be perpetuating that myth to this day, but these 'modern day' teachers won't give me a break. (Dang it!) When I see my 8-year-old granddaughter struggling with math, it is all I can do to not make excuses for her. To this day, I don't know if my problem really was an inability to comprehend and learn it or if I was just written off and I believed it. Either way, I am still not good at math or science to this day.

The first biology lab required that we grow 12 green bean plants - 3 each under 4 different colored plastic filters for 5 weeks, then write a report. That was a cinch. The labs got progressively more difficult, though. To the point where we had to go by written directions (no visuals), take clay and yarn, put them together in different configurations to explain meiosis, mitosis, genetic traits and how they are passed from generation to generation.

The textbook was even more difficult. Don't get me wrong, I could read the words. It was just that when you put them together, they made no sense whatsoever. "A certain mutation in E. coli makes the lac operator unable to bind the active repressor. How would this affect the cell?"

See what I mean?

Individually, the words aren't that difficult, but in sentences, they are like Greek or Russian or some other equally difficult-to-learn language.

The Communication class was great. I had to write a paper each week and respond to discussion questions on the classroom site. If there is one thing I can do, it is talk - even in writing.

I think I did okay with that class... Turns out the teacher, who lives in Tennessee, is LDS, too. We kind of bonded. When one of the students began 'going off' on Mormons, she stepped in and talked about having "what Mormons call a Quad" on her bookshelf and that "they" use the King James version of the Bible along with their Book of Mormon. Of course, no one but an LDS member would recognize or use the term 'quad' when referring to the scriptures. When I called her on it in a private email, she laughingly confessed. Now that the session is over, we've become friends.

So, now I'm taking New Testament. GCU is a Christian college and religion classes are required. My religion classes from Ricks College (where I attended just after the Beatles broke up) transferred for credit, but they didn't fulfill all the religion requirements at GCU. Instead of the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible, they use the NIV (New International Version). One of our first assignments is writing a paper about 'John the Baptizer'. This should be interesting... Hehehe...

I am also taking The Arizona Constitution class. The teacher is apparently a stickler for honesty, which isn't a problem for me, but all of her students are required to submit their papers to a plagiarism-checking site when you turn them in to her. So much for the law and being innocent till proven guilty.

A lot has changed since the Jurassic Era...