More Brutal Honesty

Three posts for the price of one!  Such a deal!  Each of these posts is quite personal, although not very funny, which you know I try to be as much as possible.  Just in a serious mood, I guess.  Thanks for reading!  


I am addicted to chocolate. It isn't a secret. I like chocolate alone or chocolate with peanut butter. No dipping fruit in it. No nuts. No wafers or caramel. No self-pity. No claims of victimization. No denial. No need for a 12-step program. It is an addiction I am fully willing to live with and indulge in for the rest of my life. Do I somehow believe the addition of peanut butter makes chocolate healthier? I'm sure it doesn't. Although I don't think it hurts, either. I am past trying to trick myself into believing it helps qualify it as health food, though.

I have read everything that has come my way about chocolate's addictive chemicals and the reactions they cause in the brain and the body. I have also read how it helps and that it has health benefits. Sugar and white flour are more damaging and don't have any health benefits, so I am avoiding those quite well, with the exception of the sugar contained in chocolate. Maybe that will compensate a little. And if it doesn't? Oh, well... Everything in moderation, right? That is the healthiest way to eat or indulge in anything. I no longer eat several candy bars in one sitting. I have adopted a moderate, middle-of-the-road attitude. If you have a similar addiction or just want to try something new, check out the recipe attached to the photo above. Trust me, you won't regret it.


I don't know what your opinion is of Michael Jackson, his music, his Neverland Ranch, the public accusations or the strange way he seemed to live his life. Even if you did not watch the tribute to him today, if you hear his beautiful young daughter's words, through her tears, it will break your heart. I pray that these children will be able to live a more normal life than their father was afforded at the same age. I pray that they had a relationship with him that the news reports and controversies cannot damage. I pray that his music will live on and that the difference it made in many hearts will continue.

Separate the media reports of his personal life from his music and you have an unforgettable legacy left to the world. If you can't find it in your heart to do this, listen again to the anguish and love in 11-year-old Paris Michael Katherine Jackson's voice and give a little credit to him for loving his children so much and hope that your children will be able to express that much love when you pass.





Until six weeks ago, I had gum disease. Yep. Time to make this confession, as embarassing as it feels. According to Prevention Magazine diabetes can cause this, and because of the gum disease, the diabetes worsens. It's a two-edged sword. About two weeks ago, I began experiencing extremely low blood sugar episodes each afternoon. Average blood glucose levels are 80-120. Mine was 43. It made me dizzy, sweaty, shaky and a little scared. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what was happening. It had been about a month since my dental surgery, but I didn't think to connect these two things. Then, providentially, I happened upon the Prevention Magazine article on gum disease and it's effects on glucose levels and I began to monitor my blood sugar more diligently.

A few months ago, I would awake with a glucose level of 250 and would have to take an insulin injection and oral medication before breakfast and at least twice more daily to lower it to a more normal number. Now, after dental surgery ended the gum disease, my glucose levels when I wake are 150. That is a HUGE difference. All the because I no longer have gum disease. Unbelievable! This needs to be broadcast to every diabetic everywhere! I couldn't be happier about this and, of course, my medical doctor is pleased, too. Now, as long as I stay off sugar and white flour (except the sugar in chocolate, of course...) and continue to lose weight, I may turn this diabetes around. Plus, I have a really pretty smile now! [Oh yeah, I have lost 73 pounds in the last year. Even that didn't change my blood glucose levels as much as the dental surgery! I have that much weight to still take off, but I'm on my way. WooHoo!]

*Click on the photos above to be taken to the links about them.

Looking for Mr. Leftover

I would like to marry again someday, but there are certain criteria that he must meet. This is the ad I am considering posting under the title:



Brutally Honest SWF

SWF, age 56, looking for a male companion with the possibility of marriage. Must be over 6 feet tall, with hair or not, like movies, steak, and chocolate. He should enjoy cooking and cleaning with a partner occasionally and be willing to eat out a couple of times a week. He must have used National Geographic for his erotica, not Playboy, and must be willing to accept a female body ravaged by time, three pregnancies, genetic disorders (i.e. diabetes, high blood pressure, thinning hair) and a tendency toward obesity. He must appreciate and have a sense of humor, be able to laugh at himself and have a kind heart. He must like grandchildren - his own and mine - and be willing to spend time with them every so often. Thank you for your consideration. Under age 55 need not apply.

What do you think? Will I get any takers? I am not willing to lower my standards, so please don't ask. If you know a single man like this, please give him my phone number.

Biology and Brains

I am now in my second 8-week session of online college courses at Grand Canyon University.

My first session classes were Communication Theory and Biology.

Yes, Biology.

You can stop laughing now, although I understand why this would be the first response most of you would have. Just wait 'til I have to take math.

When I was in 8th grade (in the middle part of the last century), Algebra was introduced into our school curriculum. After a few weeks of my struggling in the class, the teacher, Mr. Bradley, took me into the hall and said, "Some girls can't do math or science. Just do your best and I will give you a passing grade." I never had another problem in math or science (literally!), even in high school. Mr. Bradley must have spoken with the science teacher, Mr. Davis, because he let me off easy, too. Or, maybe a note was put into my permanent record!

Yes, I am one of the women who was judged by my gender to be unable to learn math and science. Sadly, I seem to be perpetuating that myth to this day, but these 'modern day' teachers won't give me a break. (Dang it!) When I see my 8-year-old granddaughter struggling with math, it is all I can do to not make excuses for her. To this day, I don't know if my problem really was an inability to comprehend and learn it or if I was just written off and I believed it. Either way, I am still not good at math or science to this day.

The first biology lab required that we grow 12 green bean plants - 3 each under 4 different colored plastic filters for 5 weeks, then write a report. That was a cinch. The labs got progressively more difficult, though. To the point where we had to go by written directions (no visuals), take clay and yarn, put them together in different configurations to explain meiosis, mitosis, genetic traits and how they are passed from generation to generation.

The textbook was even more difficult. Don't get me wrong, I could read the words. It was just that when you put them together, they made no sense whatsoever. "A certain mutation in E. coli makes the lac operator unable to bind the active repressor. How would this affect the cell?"

See what I mean?

Individually, the words aren't that difficult, but in sentences, they are like Greek or Russian or some other equally difficult-to-learn language.

The Communication class was great. I had to write a paper each week and respond to discussion questions on the classroom site. If there is one thing I can do, it is talk - even in writing.

I think I did okay with that class... Turns out the teacher, who lives in Tennessee, is LDS, too. We kind of bonded. When one of the students began 'going off' on Mormons, she stepped in and talked about having "what Mormons call a Quad" on her bookshelf and that "they" use the King James version of the Bible along with their Book of Mormon. Of course, no one but an LDS member would recognize or use the term 'quad' when referring to the scriptures. When I called her on it in a private email, she laughingly confessed. Now that the session is over, we've become friends.

So, now I'm taking New Testament. GCU is a Christian college and religion classes are required. My religion classes from Ricks College (where I attended just after the Beatles broke up) transferred for credit, but they didn't fulfill all the religion requirements at GCU. Instead of the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible, they use the NIV (New International Version). One of our first assignments is writing a paper about 'John the Baptizer'. This should be interesting... Hehehe...

I am also taking The Arizona Constitution class. The teacher is apparently a stickler for honesty, which isn't a problem for me, but all of her students are required to submit their papers to a plagiarism-checking site when you turn them in to her. So much for the law and being innocent till proven guilty.

A lot has changed since the Jurassic Era...

Charity Never Faileth

"Let your heart feel for the affliction and distress of everyone."

~ George Washington

Suze Orman, financial guru, appeared on Oprah today. She is a no-nonsense expert on personal finance and I almost always agree with her, even when it challenges my own beliefs about money and makes me uncomfortable with the way I handle it. She has been appearing on Oprah for 10 years, as she pointed out on today's show, and took everyone watching to task for not following her advice, which has led to the condition of the economy and the problems we are facing.

People are losing their homes, their life savings and their retirement funds all over the country. If you aren't affected, I'm sure you know someone who has been or will be. I've been listening to news reports and analyses and carefully reading articles on the Internet for the last several weeks, trying to figure out who or what is responsible.

Ms. Orman says that WE - 'Main Street America' as pundits call us (as opposed to the professionals running banks, credit unions, insurance agencies, etc., and especially the current political administration...) - are responsible. We wanted things (i.e. homes, furniture, clothing, etc.) beyond what our incomes allowed and the so-called professionals - especially credit card companies, banks, loan companies - were willing to fund those wants for a price. Oftentimes, our credit scores didn't matter and we were approved in spite of our future ability to pay. Everytime we overextended ourselves and bought merchandise or homes using credit cards or loans, the stock in those holding companies went up and the CEO's at the top of the companies made more money, so, of course, they were more than willing to extend more and more credit. BUT, eventually, it all had to crumble, because, at some point, we found that using one credit card to pay off another, or to pay our mortgage, pushed us further and further into debt and left us with less and less expendable, spendable cash. In the last few months, it has all come crashing down.

This was the most down-to-earth, logical explanation I have heard or read. The word that she used to explain it all was GREED. We all wanted more - from Main Street (again, meaning you and I) to Wall Street. It was the 'American Dream' to have it all and have it all NOW.

Our parents were exponentially more well-off then their parents. They were raised during the Depression and saw their parents struggle just to survive and raise them. Our parents learned the value of work early and worked hard to have what they had. We were raised with nice things and we expected to have those things when we became adults. We didn't see how hard our parents had worked or how long it had taken them to accumalate the things we had and the homes we were raised in. We expected to have all the nice things immediately and we went into debt to achieve it - rarely realizing that this was a dangerous and foolish thing to do. Always with the hope and dream in our hearts that everything would work out all right. Americans are known around the world for our optimism. 'Looking at the world through rose-colored glasses' is a phrase that seems especially coined for us.

The one thing that Ms. Orman said today that I take exception to is that she has no sympathy for those of us in this situation. She has been advising us and warning us for 10 years and because we didn't listen and take her advice, she doesn't necessarily feel sorry for us. I agree with George Washington when he said, "Let your heart feel for the affliction and distress of everyone." This is the true definition of charity, as defined in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: "a. benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity; b. generosity and helpfulness especially toward the needy or suffering".

These are challenging times. The financial future of the United States is facing peril and could take a long time to recover. We can't rely on the government to buy our way out of trouble in the future. We have to learn from our mistakes. In fact, to become the most responsible citizens we can, we MUST NOT repeat our mistakes. We can't let this be our legacy to our children. By turning our lives around, it will be an example to them of living responsibly. We have to follow Suze Orman's advice and not rely on credit cards or live above our means. It won't be easy, and we probably won't be as comfortable for a while as we have been. We have to learn to be financially self-reliant.

Friends and family all around us are suffering not just from financial depression but emotional depression. We shouldn't be criticizing each other. We have to support each other. The time for benevolent goodwill toward others is NOW. The one thing we must have for each other is charity, because "Charity never faileth".

Busy Month

August is almost over. Since the wonderful rainstorm we had last night, the temperature was only 99 degrees today! WooHoo! What a month it has been! Really high temperatures, lots of rain, new jobs for some friends and family and several personal changes, too.

The boys' dad had to come to Arizona for surgery on his foot. He's had peripheral neuropathy in his feet and legs for years and, apparently got a small wound on his foot which didn't heal. He's doing much better since the surgery and the anticipated amputation didn't have to take place. That was a great blessing. He is going to move here in a couple of months, which will be great for the boys to have him near. He and I are at peace with each other, I believe. The final relief came when I heard the adage, "Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Wow! Deep, huh? It just wasn't worth carrying around all that pain anymore. And, to be honest, much of that pain was self-inflicted. Habits we acquire during marriage are often carried forward into singlehood and prevent our healing and progression until we examine them.

My mother told me, right after my divorce was final, that it would take half as long as the marriage lasted to be ready to move on. (Half of 22 years is 11, which comes to last year.) I have no idea where she got this information or if it was inspiration - which wouldn't surprise me, either - but it has proven to be true.

Stephen has a new job starting Thursday. Actually, it is the job he left a few months ago so he could pursue work in his chosen area - web development - and they've rehired him to do just that. Apparently there wasn't an opening when he left and there is now...whatever. He got a nice raise and is happy. He'll be able to see the M&M's more now that this semester is over because he doesn't have a Saturday class this time. I hope to have current pics of them to post soon!

Jared has been training with Truly Nolen - he now drives a yellow truck with antennae on it. So funny. He prefers the Volkswagon 'bug' they have painted yellow with large mouse ears and a tail on it. Good advertising for the company to have these vehicles on the streets. He, too, is happy and doing well. Yea!

Lucas and Scarlett are busy raising the Princess Boo and the happy Buddha. It is so wonderful to be near all my grandchildren. I am blessed.

-Long story, short -

My grandson was trying to be a good helper when his dad's cell phone began ringing. MAT tried to bring it to him. Unfortunately, being only age two, he doesn't understand the concept of unplugging the phone from the charger before walking away with it. When he did this, the plug didn't come out of the wall, it pulled the plug-in parts out of the phone, rendering it unchargeable.

I explained to my son, after I finished laughing, that there is such a thing as 'A Mother's Curse' - "May you have children just like you." He didn't quite see the humor. Oh, well...

How many things did your children break throughout their childhood? Is there any point in even trying to count?

I found a website called, "Buy My 'Tronics" : http://www.buymytronics.com/

They actually buy your used and broken iPods, cell phones and game consoles (check their list). Even if they only pay a couple of bucks for each one (and I understand the price is better than that) it beats packing and moving them again or shoving them into a landfill and polluting the earth even more.

-Speaking of moving -

One would think working for a realtor would be advantageous when trying to find a 3-bedroom apartment. Nope. Realtors deal with buying homes, not renting them. So, I'm looking diligently for a place between (or at least closer to...) my oldest son's family and my sister-in-law in East Mesa or North Gilbert. Nothing yet.

I did find something that will make the move itself easier. What is worse than diving into dumpsters behind Fry's or Wal*Mart looking for boxes you can use to pack your stuff? Gross! Costco has the solution. A box of boxes. It ships free - how cool is that? - and has bubble wrap and packing tape included. Nice...

Click on this link:

http://www.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?ec=BC-EC6106-ProdID11091124&pos=1&whse=BC&topnav=&prodid=11045692&lang=en-US

-Summertime and the garden is empty -

Some people are actually able to grow gardens here in Arizona. I don't know what they do or how they could possibly prepare this sandy soil for growing anything, but I am craving homegrown tomatoes, warm from the sun. Of course, living in an apartment doesn't help my cause - patios usually aren't even big enough for container gardening. But, I think, when I get moved, I might try this: http//www.answers.com/topic/reviews-of-upside-down-tomato-planter .

Missing the Grandkids

My DIL took her two children - my youngest and oldest grandchildren - to the Midwest yesterday to visit family. They have been out of Arizona for about 36 hours and I miss them like crazy.

My oldest son, DIL's hubby, is flying out there in about 9 days. Till then he has my youngest son as his roommate. Middle son and I went over tonight and I fixed supper for the three of them - pork chops, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, corn-on-the-cob and, to counteract all those starchy, buttery dishes, a green salad. It was all comfort food. The boys loved it. But it didn't comfort me.

I don't remember going to #1 son's house without my grandchildren being there. It felt empty and quiet. My three sons, grown now, don't wrestle each other anymore. They aren't loud or discourteous. They don't argue or disagree. They get along beautifully and I take credit for that - deserved or not. Of course, it was a different story when they were younger. They fought and disagreed like all brothers do. But, they are 'mature' now, and even though they tease me and joke around with each other, there is an underlying respect there that fills my heart with joy. That, and the fact that two of them have given me grandchildren makes me extremely thankful. I think it was P. J. O'Rourke that said, "Grandchildren are our reward for not killing our children." There were times...oh, there were times. But now - peace and love abide. Amazing...

My granddaughter, Miss M, age 7, fills me with wonder. She reads better than I did when I was an eighth-grader! And, The Happy Budda, 7 months, melts my heart with his smiles and thrills me with his laughter and pleasant little personality.

How much will he have changed in two-and-a-half weeks? Miss M told me she missed me on the phone tonight. What new adventures will she have to share with me when she gets home? I can't wait. She becomes so animated when she tells me things.

I can't imagine living far away from them, or Middle Son's twins, age two, MAT and MiMi. The M&Ms are going to Cali for a week in July with their dad and mom and other grandparents. I will miss them just as much, knowing that they aren't a short drive away.

It is good for me, I guess, to experience some separation. If I ever re-marry, will HE want to live here in Arizona or move to Where-The-Heck-Are-We, Montana? Would that be a deal-breaker for me? I guess we'll cross that bridge when, and if, we come to it. Till then, I am going to bask in the love and appreciation I have for my wonderful, bright and precious grandchildren. And I'm going to count the days till they get back here and I can hug them and hug them.